So I had the appointment with the psychologist, and I’m starting two new medications.
She said that my anxiety is so bad that I have ‘full blown irrational and delusional paranoia’
One medication is for anxiety, and the other she said was to help with the paranoia, but when I looked up the drug online, it’s used to treat people with bipolar I disorder and schizophrenics, I’m also taking like twice the dosage that is considered normal, but it’s like sample trial packs of medication, so I’m only following instructions, but I don’t know how to feel about that.
I also start therapy tomorrow. The doctor seemed absolutely shocked when I told her I wasn’t in therapy. So I guess we will see how that goes.
Also, I have the fucking flu, and I have to work all week and no one can cover for me, and the flu medicine makes me weird and loopy as fuck, my new medicine makes me loopy and sleepy and nauseous as fuck. And I’m clammy and gross and sick on top of all that.
I finally got to spend some time with What’s His Butt. I missed him so much. His girlfriend wasn’t home and we both didn’t have work today so I was able to spend the night. And that was so nice and wonderful. I miss quality time with him. But we were both so out of it, we just drank, and talked, and fell asleep. It was lovely.
I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at with a mouthful of forevers.
We have both known loss like the sharp edges of a knife. We have both lived with lips more scar tissue than skin.
Our love came unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up on asking love to come.
I think that has to be part of its miracle.
This is how we heal.
I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope. Our arms will bandage and we will press promises between us like flowers in a book. I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat on your skin. I will write novels to the scar of your nose. I will write a dictionary of all the words I have used trying to describe the way it feels to have finally, finally found you.
And I will not be afraid of your scars.
I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know:
Whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap, your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.
"Agree to disagree" is white guy speak for "I understand you have an opinion but unfortunately, me."
"Part of being a feminist is giving other women the space to make choices you don’t necessarily agree with."
my anaconda don’t
my anaconda don’t
my anaconda don’t want none unless you are fiscally responsible and mature enough to take care of yourself
|me:||hello darkness my old friend
|darkness:||do i know u
Just to clarify, I wasn't trying to put you down because "HOW DARE YOU REJECT SOCIAL NORMS BLAH BLAH" whatever, I was putting you down for loling at another lifestyle choice. Please climb down from that poly high horse.
Oh no. Pleeeeeeease forgive me. I’ll never make a fucking joke ever again.
Fuck off with this shit anon.
I’m not on a high horse, I’m not putting anything down. I said ‘lol monogamy’ because frankly I think it’s silly. Would you be mad if I had said ‘lol sun tanning’ or ‘lol night shift workers’ because both of those are lifestyle choices.